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jokes of the day:
Growing Wild:
In sunny Califorina there was a man who was very proud of
his tan. He had taned every part of his body except his
penis. So wanting an all over tan, he decided to bury
himself in the sand and leave only his dick out to get the
all over tan that he craved. Now there happened to be an old
lady (around 80) hobbling down that same beach. When she
looked down and saw this penis laying on the sand. Taking
her cane she touched it and it got hard. She said " 40 years
ago I would have given anything for one of thoughs and here
that are growing wild.
Blondes and Grenades:
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a Grenade at you?
A: You pull the pin out and throw it back at her.
Dead Priests:
Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"
The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle soaring above the Rocky mountains."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest.
The second priest mulled it over for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," said the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and the second priest disappeared.
A week went by, the computer was fixed, and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asked.
"The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult. He's on a snow tire somewhere in Minnesota."
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