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jokes of the day:
Keeping Fit:
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
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Painting Interpretation:A couple attending an Art exhibition was looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis. As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist, an Irishman, walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting? I`m the artist who painted it."
The man says "Well, we like the painting but don`t understand why you have three African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis while the other two have a black penis."
The artist says, "Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They`re not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch."
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Suitable punishment:Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia.
One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.
"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"
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