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jokes of the day:
Blonde Moments:
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces
Who Made Man:
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were arguing over what type of engineer god was.
The mechanical engineer pointed to the body's intricate skeletal/muscular system and proudly stated that god must have been a mechanical engineer.
The electrical engineer said that was okay, but he felt that the brain and nervous system were of such incredible design and complexity that god had to be an electrical engineer
The mechanical engineer and the electrical engineer both looked at the civil engineer, who was smiling at their discussion. "I suppose you think god was a civil engineer," they said.
"Of course," replied the civil engineer. "Who else would run a sewer system through a major recreational area?"
Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife
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