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jokes of the day:
Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife
New Daddy:
You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your
problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful ? My wife doesn't know about it yet."
Stairs Of Heaven:
There were three guys that died, and to make it to heaven, they had to go up 100 flights of stairs. Each stair had a naked woman on it. They had to make it up all the stairs without getting a woody.
The first guy went up, and he made it 25 stairs. The naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and the man said, "I was a carpenter." So she hammered his dick off.
The second guy went up, and he made it 50 stairs. The lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he said, "I was a wood cutter." So she sawed his dick off.
Finally the third guy went up. He made it 99 stairs, and the naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he says, "I was a lollipop! Ha ha, bitch, you gotta suck my dick off!"
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