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jokes of the day:
Penis Receipts:
When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals...

"Listen up!" he said in a demanding voice. "There will benosex on this trip. All of you males, take off your penis and hand it over to my sons. I will sit over there and write you receipts. After we see land, you can get your penis back."

After a week, Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited.

"Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"

Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."

"Damn!" exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him.

Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for 40 days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. Why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, "I got the horse's receipt!"

 

Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:

You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband:

You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.

Your Wife

 

Painting Interpretation:
A couple attending an Art exhibition was looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis. As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist, an Irishman, walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting? I`m the artist who painted it."

The man says "Well, we like the painting but don`t understand why you have three African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis while the other two have a black penis."

The artist says, "Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They`re not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch."

 














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