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jokes of the day:
Blonde - elmo factory:
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''
An Army chaplain, walking through a notorious section of
town, saw a soldier exiting a known house of prostitution.
The soldier paused on the sidewalk and gestured with his
right hand in a manner familiar to the good Catholic
chaplain.
The chaplain promptly approached the errant soldier, saying,
"I'm sorry to see a good Catholic lad like you, coming out of
a place like that."
"Well, padre, I'm not Catholic," answered the GI.
"But I clearly saw you cross yourself as you came out of
there."
"No - but when I come out of a place like that, I always
check four things: My spectacles, my testicles, my watch
and my wallet."
"How do you account for this?" the doctor asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father is the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No, sir. Our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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