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jokes of the day:
Stairs Of Heaven:
There were three guys that died, and to make it to heaven, they had to go up 100 flights of stairs. Each stair had a naked woman on it. They had to make it up all the stairs without getting a woody.
The first guy went up, and he made it 25 stairs. The naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and the man said, "I was a carpenter." So she hammered his dick off.
The second guy went up, and he made it 50 stairs. The lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he said, "I was a wood cutter." So she sawed his dick off.
Finally the third guy went up. He made it 99 stairs, and the naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he says, "I was a lollipop! Ha ha, bitch, you gotta suck my dick off!"
A businesswoman is having a drink at a bar when a man
approaches her.
"Hi, honey," he says. "Want a little company?"
"Why?" asks the woman. "Do you have one to sell?"
Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.
Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina
Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either.
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