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jokes of the day:
Blonde Moments:
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces
Push-ups:
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night.
The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrant!".
The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter."
The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!
Please Forgive Me:
A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
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