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jokes of the day:
Whorehouse in Anchorage:
A Texan walked into a whorehouse in Anchorage and asked, "Do you have a girl here from Texas named Arlene?" "Sure do," said the madam. "Go on up to Room 6."
The Texan went up to Room 6 and knocked on the door. When the woman answered it, he asked "Are you Arlene from Texas?"
"I sure am," she replied.
"Well, I got two hundred dollars," he proudly said.
The hooker grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him into the room. After they had thrashed around on the mattress for a half an hour, the Texan got up to leave. "Will you be here tomorrow?" he asked.
"Sure," Arlene said, "I'll be here."
The next night, the Texan came back and went up to Room 6. Another two hundred dollars, another hour of horizontal aerobics. When they were done, the Texan was sitting on the side of the bed and he asked, "Will you be here tomorrow night?"
"Honey," she said, "I'll be here every night for you."
The next night, the Texan came back again. Same thing: two hundred dollars, the best sex of his life. When they were done, they were both sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Say," Arlene said, "what part of Texas you from?"
"I'm from Dallas," the Texan says, with a big grin.
"Well, I got a sister in Dallas!" the hooker cries.
"I know it," the Texan says, "and she gave me six hundred dollars to give to you!"
~ ~ ~
3 Blonde Men:Three blond MEN are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and he walks across the bridge.
~ ~ ~
Heritage:"How do you account for this?" the doctor asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father is the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No, sir. Our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
~ ~ ~
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